| 1/12/2006 9:16:00 AM | Email this article • Print this article | Creative parenting can be rewarding
Guest Opinion
by Ken Darby
Creative parenting works
Here are some lessons to ponder ...
1. The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.
2. For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.
3. Toys multiply to fill any space available.
4. The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.
5. Yours is always the only child who doesn’t behave.
6. If the shoe fits ... it’s expensive.
7. The surest way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.
8. The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.
9. Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.
This little list of tips on raising children was clearly drawn up by someone who has been there. I love every one of them.
While every one of these statements can be true and while the raising of children can have its moments of pure chaos, worry or fear, there are also more times it can be fun.
I strongly recommend that you bring up your children with your attitude being you don’t own them but are made responsible for bringing them up to be good strong citizens that contribute, as if you were a steward.
If your attitude is that you “own” them, you are likely to administer discipline on that basis and as a result breed fear into their hearts.
Discipline based on what you want at any given moment is the worst thing you can do to a child.
Discipline need only be administered up to a point where a child learns to listen and act upon what you say. A child must clearly understand it is for his or her benefit, not yours.
Thereafter, it is wise to permit a child the greatest possible latitude that they may experience and learn. You can always be around to guide and that is the watchword – “guide.”
If a child already responds to your commands, then you can keep the child from danger or protect them and guide them out of danger if they are in it. A child who does not listen can be harmful unto themselves.
However, the administration of discipline for your sake will come back to haunt you.
Just because you are tired, hungry, weak or exhausted is no excuse to discipline anyone.
Getting mad at a youngster, telling him or her to go away just because you are tired is a poor excuse for a parent.
If you have been away for a while, regardless of what you are doing, a child wanting attention when you are home is nothing short of a compliment and should be treated as such.
Adopt the attitude that having and raising kids is fun. Learn to have fun doing the things they like.
Play with them, show them, guide them to bigger and better things. Learn to give them trust and room.
That will come back to you 100 times over. Get involved with them at all times, with all things, even and maybe especially when they are teens.
It can be a lot of fun. I know I am thankful for my kids having opened up my mind, my horizons, my future.
They will go places you wouldn’t think of and they will drag you along. You will be in for some learning, some fun and a deep rewarding joy impossible to get any other way.
Internationally syndicated columnist Ken Darby authors many articles found in newspapers and magazines throughout North America. He is author of “The Saga Of Pinehill, The Adventure” (ISBN 1-4137-4723-X), an adventure filled with life’s lessons and available through your favorite bookstore or http://www.the-pebble.com.
|
Article Comment Submission Form
|
